What To Do When Kindness Is Rejected

You went out of your way to smile at the bank clerk and she didn't even notice. You spend all day searching for the perfect gift and when you give it, it's tossed aside like yesterday's newspaper. You make breakfast in bed for your spouse and his only response is, "You know I don't like scrambled eggs." I think you get the point. You're kindness was not received in the way you expected.

What do you do when this happens to you? I imagine you feel bad, let down and ask yourself what was the point. Please don't.

Gary Chapman, author of The Five Languages of Love and Love as a Way of Life, says we must realize that it is not our responsibility to make people respond positively to our expressions of kindness. We all have the ability to receive and return love or to reject the love offered to us. When a person rejects our kindness, it's easy to pull back or get angry. But people are free to accept kindness with gratitude or turn it away, to accuse you of selfish motives or to reciprocate with kindness toward you. What we must remember is that their response is out of our control.

In our world, relationships do not always work the way we want them to. We might never see the influence of our acts of kindness. But when we love authentically, we remain kind even when loving is difficult. If someone rejects your kindness you can continue to hope that in time he will turn and walk toward you instead of away. In the meantime, hold on to your attitude of love and kindness.

If it was a random act for a stranger that was rejected keep in mind that many people do not trust strangers. You know your motives but they are not always clear to the other person. So don't be offended when an offer is turned down. For every time your kindness is rejected there will be many more when it is greatly appreciated.

So what do you do when your act of kindness is rejected or goes unnoticed? Just smile. After all, who were you doing it for anyway and why? For yourself and your own edification? Or because you truly care about another? If it's the latter there is no reason to feel bad...bursh off your ego, move on, and DO.

You'll be glad you did.

Bloggers Unite To Do Good - Random Acts of Kindness

Bloggers Unite challenged bloggers around the world to move away from their computers and do something good offline - in the real world - and then post about it, letting others know the collective power of the blogoshpere. Bloggers Unite wants bloggers to put a human face on our actions so that the non-blogging world might see what we've done and be moved to action.

I was so excited to participate in this challenge. After all, this is what I write about every day - people helping people, people changing the world because they care. So why was I so reluctant to actually go do it? Why was I procrastinating?

I finally called Child Haven, my local area Department of Family and Children Services group home. I planned to answer their call for volunteers to come rock and play with the many babies in their facility. This was Saturday, no one answered the phone. I had to do my good deed by Monday so helping Child Haven was out.

Sunday I called an assisted living facility near my house. I told the nice woman who answered the phone that I'd like to come visit the residents, bring a stack of Christmas cards and help people fill them out for family and friends. I'd even mail them when we were done. Her answer, "You need the approval of the activities director. She's off on Sunday's." But I need to come today! "Can't help you without approval."

By yesterday evening I was back to square one and running out of time. My husband suggested adopting an angel from the Salvation Army Angel Tree. "But we do that every year," I said. He shook his head, "So just tell everyone about it this time." I grabbed the camera to chronicle everything for my blog and my stomach tightened. Suddenly I knew why I'd had so much trouble with this assignment.

You see I was brought up to believe that one should do the right thing for no other reason than it's right. To ask for praise or talk about what I've done as if it was something special makes it about me and diminishes the act itself. The Bible verses imprinted on my memory are found in Matthew 6:1-4 of the New Testament. As a result, I never took my camera out of my purse.

I've been blessed with excellent examples of sharing love. I've witnessed the kind and selfless acts of many humble spirits. Their lives are daily reminders of how God wants us to care for each other.

If you meet my mother she will never tell you that for twenty years straight she made weekly visits to nursing homes (one of them was over 40 miles away) to help care for two of her sisters and an aunt. She'll never tell about the times she made entire meals for sick friends or sat by the bedside of dieing loved ones while they drew their last breath. She just did those things because that is who she is.

I've known my mother-in-law since I was a teenager but back then she was just my friend's mother, the one who answered the phone when I called her son. When Todd and I started dating, I learned how special she really is. Just like my mother she goes out of her way to care for others by taking part in special projects in her church. She is always contributing, always helping someone in need. She's never told me about these things, I discovered her good nature by watching. The first time I celebrated her birthday I stared in awe as she gave gifts to all of her grandchildren. By knowing her, I am constantly reminded of the kind of woman I want to be.

So back to me and what I did last night. I'm happy to report that my local Salvation Army is doing well this year. The tree was almost empty of angel tags. All the children had been chosen. But the program was in need of filler gifts for teenagers so Todd and I chose tags for a boom box and a music gift card. We shopped and returned the items to the table. I have to admit that I've enjoyed it more in previous years when we've been given a specific child to shop for.

Last year we chose a little girl and a little boy and took our children to buy the gifts. As we shopped, we talked about them as if they were our children's friends. The kids had fun picking out clothes they thought were cool and toys that would elicit screams of joy on Christmas morning. It warmed me from head to toe to think of the boy's and girl's faces when they saw the wrapped stacks of presents. I find value in this program because it teaches our children to share and give and to think of those who have less with love, not pity.

I'm glad I participated in this challenge but at the same time I learned a great deal about myself. like - I'm much more comfortable shining the light of praise on others.

The Nice Matters Award - Spreading Kindness Across the Net

My friend, Shari Thomas from Shari's Gone Country http://shari-thomas.blogspot.com/, not only runs a farm with a few of her friends and writes a heart-warming blog about country life, she took the time to pass on the Nice Matters Award. I am one of her lucky recipients!

Shari says, "With all the negativity in the world, Genevieve (Bella-Enchanted) took it upon herself to start this award, which emphasizes the "power of nice", the power of inspiration, of teaching, of service."

Wow, I couldn't feel more honored because that is exactly what LifePrints embodies for me - the power of inspiration and service to others. I appreciate that Shari got it and "gets" me and what I'm attempting to do with my blog.

It's my pleasure to pass on this award to seven people that have brought a bit of niceness (is that even a real word?) into my life. Please accept my thanks for the kindness you've shown me and send the Nice Matters Award on to seven more deserving people who've made your day a little better. Kudos to all of you!

1) Daniel at Wrath of Daniel -

Daniel runs a great music blog with free MP3's. Every month he picks a theme and lists songs that fit. Not long ago I let him know that I was eagerly awaiting the August list and one day later, poof, there it was! A new list! He turned me on to my new favorite song by Ben Lee. Thanks, Daniel!
http://blog.wrathofdaniel.com/

2)Marilyn at Marilyn's Non-Violent Planet Newspage -

Marilyn tells me that we are kindred spirits and I believe her. We share the same blogger template, a similar blog theme, and almost identical world views. Got to love her for that!
http://non-violentplanetnewspage.blogspot.com/

3) August at Joethegamers Blog and 1000 Holiday Pictures -

August is a great guy. He attempted to teach me Danish so that I could read his blog. Doesn't get any more accommodating than that! I admire what he is doing with his quest to collect holiday photos from around the world. It's a wonderful way to share our special moments.
http://1000holidaypictures.blogspot.com/

4) Adam at WeDreaming -

He gave me a great compliment that really lifted my spirits. And, yes, you do get back what you put out into this world. So here you go, Adam and here's to the deserving person that is you!
http://wedreaming.com/

5) Bob at Blackholes and Astrostuff -

Bob shares my husband's passion for astronomy. He was kind enough to listen while I rambled on about our dream to own a creative arts/astronomy retreat in the mountains of New Mexico. I'm hoping for a visit from him when we open and have our telescopes up and running!
http://blackholesandastrostuff.blogspot.com/

6) Ruthie at The Day Breaks... -

Ruthie is a new friend who I stumbled upon while searching for others who love the music of Joe Hedges, http://www.joehedges.com/. I took a chance and told her that he's one of my favorites, too. She graciously responded and we exchanged strange stories about how we found out about him. I'm glad I met her.
http://ruthiesstuff.blogspot.com/

7) Ariana at Poetry N Jewels -

Ariana and I have an affinity for poetry, the color lavender and all things beaded. I'm enjoying getting to know her and I'm sure we will find even more things in common.
http://poetrynjewels.blogspot.com/

I know some of you manly men might not want to display this daintily designed award and that's okay, just pass it on, keep the power of nice going and know that on at least one occasion, you've made this girl blogger smile.