Back on the Postive Thinking Wagon

This picture of my family and friends watching the Super Bowl commercials makes me laugh. It makes me laugh so hard that my sides hurt...and I need that because I haven't laughed much in the last few months.
Absence of laughter, absence of joy, and abundance of conflict - these are my reasons (excuses) for staying away from LifePrints, the place where I put out to the world how great life can be if we all love and care for one another. I learned a big lesson. It's difficult to write about happiness and compassion when I become consumed with how the people in my life, my house, my family are not doing those things for each other.

It all seems futile and a waste of time.

This morning I got a gentle nudge from Anonymous. This loving person sent a comment to my blog asking where I've been, saying that, "Hey! Three months is long enough. New post please!" Well, that's paraphrasing but I got the point.

I smiled and wondered, "Where have I been?" I asked myself this question with a different attitude besides the pitiful one I've become accustomed to. Now I can tell you that since December...

I've watched fireworks signal the dawning of a new year and swam in a pool full of splashing children on the same cold night in small Utah town.

I shed tears of pride and accomplishment while watching the inauguration of our new president and again during his first address to congress. I recognized the love that passed between him and his wife, so much like the silent understanding that passes between my husband and me.

I climbed sand cliffs with my husband and child and watched the flaming Nevada sun set behind the mountains. Then we played tic tac toe on paper napkins while waiting for our breakfast the next morning.

I sat in the front of a crowded movie theater and craned my neck to watch Edward and Bella fall in love. I marveled at the intensity on my beautiful daughter's face as she watched Twilight play out on the big screen.

Everyday I wear a red and gold glass heart pendant on a black leather cord because it was a gift from my husband - the man who has wiped away many of my tears in the past few months.

I reached out to friends, family, and strangers for help and no one turned me away. There have been phone calls, emails and hugs to carry me through. I'm grateful for each kind word and piece of valuable advice.

I watched through a plexi-glass window while my son pelted his birthday party companions with little exploding balls of paint and relished the fact that I remained unmarked and unbruised behind the glass.

My son who struggles with grades, proudly waved a paper under my nose. It said he had a 97% in Pre-Algebra. We immediately went for ice cream!

My little boy started preschool and beams every time he walks into the classroom.

Despite my troubles, I have much to be thankful for. God bless us all. Thank you to my friends and readers who've let me know how much LifePrints means to them. I needed the encouragement to keep going...and a special thank you to Anonymous for giving me that last needed push.

I have much to look forward to and searching out stories for LifePrints is among those pleasures.

Compassion - What is it Exactly?

Compassion is described as an emotion that is a sense of shared suffering, most often combined with a desire to alleviate or reduce the suffering of another. Compassion essentially arises through empathy, and is often characterized through actions, wherein a person acting with compassion will seek to aid those they feel compassionate for.

I come from a family of highly empathetic people. My mother is a sympathizer. She takes on your worry and makes it her own. She’s been known to bake pies and deliver arm loads of fresh vegetables just to cheer a soul up. My father is a fixer. You call him, he’ll fix it. My birth mother marched, protested and got arrested in the turbulent ‘70’s. My husband stops for distressed motorists and helps to push broken vehicles out of busy intersections. I seem to feel everyone’s pain and have an intense desire to “take care of” and “make it better” for those who cross my path, even a pigeon with a broken wing. And our children have their grandmother’s penchant for bringing home stray animals.

Adolph Hitler once said that compassion is for the weak. He was wrong. I am not weak nor are the others in my family who taught compassion to me. On the contrary, they have a quiet, peaceful strength that I’m sure Hitler never imagined existed.

In his teaching on compassion, His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, “If you have a sincere and open heart, you naturally feel self- worth and confidence, and there is no need to be fearful of others.”

I believe Hitler was a very fearful man. The Dalai Lama is not. The contrast is stark and clear.

The Dalai Lama also said, "I believe that at every level of society - familial, tribal, national and international - the key to a happier and more successful world is the growth of compassion. We do not need to become religious, nor do we need to believe in an ideology. All that is necessary is for each of us to develop our good human qualities. I try to treat whoever I meet as an old friend. This gives me a genuine feeling of happiness. It is the practice of compassion. "

In the Dalai Lama’s writings on compassion, I found simple explanation and advice about incorporating this concept in to all aspects of my life.

For parents, like me, struggling to teach this virtue to their children, I discovered this short article by Families with Purpose and the link to a book on the subject.

I have much to learn about turning my constant concern into consistent action. I think these resources are a good starting point.