All Things Temporary - Except II

We were skiing at Snowy Range outside of Laramie, Wyoming and.....

I pulled Sandy up off the ground and helped her balance on the narrow skis. "Let's go inside. We'll get hot chocolate." I pushed her toward the lodge.

"No way! This is great! Raymond!" She grabbed his arm. "Get me to the lift!"

Full of pride, I laughed as they hopped back on for another run. As the day wore on and she grew more confident, we took her on a long gentle slope that wound around and down the mountain. By lunchtime, I was exhausted and my toes were numb.

While Raymond went to the van to retrieve the food he'd packed for us, we waited at a table inside the lodge. The mustard yellow booths looked like cast-offs from an out-of-date fast food restaurant. Everything in the lodge centered on the open fire pit and giant metal flue that funneled into the two-story ceiling. Cement blocks threaded with two-by-fours ringed the roaring fire. Snowy Range's management believed in putting their money into the slopes, not fancy décor.

"I didn't think it would look like this," Sandy said, motioning with a wave of her hand around the room. "I see all those ads in magazines and stuff on TV about skiing. They don't look like this."

"I thought the same thing the first time I came. The big flashy resorts draw tons of tourists, but this is the best place to learn. Nothing's worse than a beginner's slope crowded with people who don't know what they're doing." I laughed.

"Like me," she said.

"I was worried at first but you're doing great now, a real natural."

"Think so? Really?" She beamed.

"Really."
"I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to upset you when I asked that question." She dug with her fingernail at a dried blob of ketchup in the center of the table.

"Don't worry about it." I wanted to make her feel better and be honest, too. "The problem is I've heard those questions for as long as I can remember and they either have complicated answers or no answers at all. It's frustrating, makes me feel like I'm on display, like a circus freak."

"Kind of like when people find out I'm in foster care," she said. "They want me to talk about why I don't live at home and if I'm going back to my parents and how I feel about the whole thing. Sometimes I just want to say go F... yourself." Her cheeks bloomed red in exacerbation.

I ignored the language and said, "I understand."

"What I really wanted to ask you was if you want to know who she is? Your real mom, I mean. I bet she misses you and wants to know what happened to you."

"I doubt it." Now I picked at the ketchup stain.

"You watch Oprah. She's done lots of shows about reunions, moms looking for the babies they gave up. If it was me, I'd have to know. That's all I'm saying." She stopped talking and glanced at me. "What?"

I looked her in the eye, knowing I could never say what I felt.

"You want to tell me to go F... myself, don't you?"

I nodded and we laughed uncontrollably.

During the long dark ride home, I thought about the things she said. I knew the shows she talked about. I'd gone so far as to write down the telephone numbers for help in locating a birth parent and hide them away in my bedside table. Raw terror kept me from dialing the phone, afraid of what I might find if I looked and equally afraid of what I might lose in the process.
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What you just read is an except from my memoir "All Things Temporary - Confessions Of A Young Foster Mother"

Thanks for reading...Lisa

Kidsave - Uniting Orphans with Families

I love it when people share their ideas for LifePrints. The conversations usually start like this, “I read such and such somewhere and thought you might like to use it” or “Have you heard about…?”

Recently I received just such an email from my mother in law, Margaret, about Kidsave, http://www.kidsave.org/. She said, “The children were featured on 11Alive News (that’s in Georgia) a few days ago. Seems like a good program. Wish I could adopt one...probably too old at this point in life."

This was enough to spark my interest. I am a former foster mother and an adoptee, so stories and articles about children in need always tug strongly at my heart. I want to take all of them home and make the hurting stop, even though I know realistically I can’t do that.

After delving into the Kidsave website, I found they have the answer for people like me, Margaret, and countless others who want to help in some way but don’t feel they can adopt. Through Kidsave, we can be host families for six weeks to orphans from Latin America and Russia. Kidsave brings them to the US for their Summer of Miracles Program. A permanent home is the goal. The host family contributes by introducing the child to their circle of friends and community, in hopes of finding that special connection needed for a family or at least a close adult friend who can provide guidance and friendship to the child.

We can also be mentors to American children languishing in foster care by committing to taking a child out for bi-weekly outings, including them in some of our family activities, and just being a stable influence in their lives. We can be financial supporters, helping to raise the funds to bring orphans from all over the world to the US to spend an incredible summer with a host family.

Young Jonathan Gleason expressed his experience with Kidsave this way, “For six weeks during the summer of 2006, from early July through the middle of August, my family and I welcomed two young children into our home from an orphanage in Bogotá, Colombia as a Kidsave International host family. We, especially me, could never have guessed the extent of the positive effect on our lives when an eight year old girl, Maria and her younger brother, Juan Carlos, age 4, stepped forward to greet us at the Atlanta airport.”

He continued in his letter, “At first I was kind of skeptical because I had no idea what it was going to be like. I have been a younger sibling all my life, and all of the sudden I would have to become the older brother to two kids who I didn’t know, for six weeks. Well those six weeks turned out to be the best six weeks of my life. Every day that the kids were here was full of fun, fascination, and learning for me. These children could embrace joy in spite of their past. The little girl was honestly the best friend I could ever have. All day I would play with her and it would be as if I had known her my whole life, and her brother was just the funniest kid ever! That kid, if he knew something was wrong, would find anyway to get a smile on your face and make you laugh. These kids did not just touch our family’s life, but many of my friends and my parents’ friends too. Friends would invite themselves over, not to spend time with us but to be with the kids.”

“One of my friends even started to cry the last time he saw the kids. One of my favorite memories was whenever the music video of Shakira’s song came on; my new amigos would dance and sing their heads off. Another thing these kids loved was the pool. Both of them learned how to swim while they were here. Everyday they would swim for hours, and whenever you would try to take them out they would say, “5 more minutes….5 more minutes….5 more minutes”, until finally you would have to drag them out of the pool.”

“Don’t get me started on church with the four year old. Let’s just say all of the priests and parishioners knew him by the end of the six week period and not because he misbehaved! Another favorite pastime for the kids was eating. They loved trying all of the new foods they had never seen or tried before. Shopping at Target was an eye opening experience for both of them. However, the most amazing experience was watching these two kids when they stepped on to the beach and saw the ocean for the first time. I wish that I had taken a picture, but the expression of awe on their faces will remain with me forever. I could go on and on,” Jonathan gushed.

I’d intended to paraphrase his statement but changed my mind. Johnathan aptly expresses what happens when one person does something for the good of another. Somewhere along the way, they realize they are benefiting, too, maybe even more so that the one they set out to help. The purpose of Johnathan’s letter was to raise $60,000 to bring children to his home town this summer. I’m not sure if he reached his goal but I do know that right now there are children in Atlanta, Georgia enjoying the company of selfless families like the Gleasons.

Thank you, Margaret for passing on this important story of international caring and cooperation.