According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of "The How of Happiness", we are not complete hostages to our genetics. Happiness is 50% inherited, 40% up to us, and 10% stressers out of our control. She came to this conclusion using data from research on identical and fraternal twins. This goes against previous wisdom that said happiness is controlled by genetics and life circumstances. Lyubomirsky says we can be happier by using simple 'happiness intervention strategies'.She had test subjects write letters of gratitude, perform acts of kindness and keep 'best possible selves' journals to outline future goals. Up to nine months after the study ended, the people involved said they had kept up the techniques on their own and were significantly happier than in the past. These techniques put into practical terms the principals of the 'Secret' and positive thought theory.
Here are a few other options to create happiness that Lyubomirsky says will enhance your daily life. They are common sense ideas that we so easily forget in our rush to be, do, and have.
Don't overthink, she says. When you catch yourself stewing over some situation or hurt...STOP. These negative, worrisome thought processes are like poison to your body and mind. If you just have to worry, set aside no more than 30 minutes in the evening to ruminate. Chances are when the time comes, the situation bothering you will have worked itself out or seem less consequential.
She tell us to learn good coping skills. Write down (purge) traumatic experiences or talk to someone about them. Learn how to argue with or negate pessimistic thoughts. Don't dwell on negative self-talk.
Savor life's joys, Lyubomirsky teaches. Relish ordinary moments of happiness and pleasure, like a good meal or a hot shower. Stay in the moment and truly experience the good in your life.
Cultivate optimism by finding ways to celebrate the good things that come your way. Instead of telling others about your bad day tell them about the good things that happened. If we choose to see them they are there. Have parties and celebrations just because...the baby took his first steps, you paper trained your puppy, or your daughter got an A on a difficult test.
Be joyous and laugh whenever you can. And for heavens sake, laugh loud and strong, feel it in your gut. Let go every now and then and just be plain silly. Be a kid.
Try it, then share with me the techniques you use to change your mood or to celebrate your bliss. I'd love to hear them.
