Secrets to Happiness from the Dalai Lama

On this day, when most of the United States is recovering from too much turkey and pumpkin pie, I thought I'd share with you the wisdom of the Dalai Lama. Here is his advice on how to achieve happiness. But even achieving is a misnomer...he would probably say to stop trying and just be.
Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for all your actions.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Spend some time alone every day.

Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

Be gentle with the earth.

Once a year, go some place you've never been before.

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Have a wonderfully relaxing weekend and enjoy the company of your friends and family. Remember to be thankful for what you have and what you love. Be thankful for yourself, your body and your mind.

Compassion - What is it Exactly?

Compassion is described as an emotion that is a sense of shared suffering, most often combined with a desire to alleviate or reduce the suffering of another. Compassion essentially arises through empathy, and is often characterized through actions, wherein a person acting with compassion will seek to aid those they feel compassionate for.

I come from a family of highly empathetic people. My mother is a sympathizer. She takes on your worry and makes it her own. She’s been known to bake pies and deliver arm loads of fresh vegetables just to cheer a soul up. My father is a fixer. You call him, he’ll fix it. My birth mother marched, protested and got arrested in the turbulent ‘70’s. My husband stops for distressed motorists and helps to push broken vehicles out of busy intersections. I seem to feel everyone’s pain and have an intense desire to “take care of” and “make it better” for those who cross my path, even a pigeon with a broken wing. And our children have their grandmother’s penchant for bringing home stray animals.

Adolph Hitler once said that compassion is for the weak. He was wrong. I am not weak nor are the others in my family who taught compassion to me. On the contrary, they have a quiet, peaceful strength that I’m sure Hitler never imagined existed.

In his teaching on compassion, His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, “If you have a sincere and open heart, you naturally feel self- worth and confidence, and there is no need to be fearful of others.”

I believe Hitler was a very fearful man. The Dalai Lama is not. The contrast is stark and clear.

The Dalai Lama also said, "I believe that at every level of society - familial, tribal, national and international - the key to a happier and more successful world is the growth of compassion. We do not need to become religious, nor do we need to believe in an ideology. All that is necessary is for each of us to develop our good human qualities. I try to treat whoever I meet as an old friend. This gives me a genuine feeling of happiness. It is the practice of compassion. "

In the Dalai Lama’s writings on compassion, I found simple explanation and advice about incorporating this concept in to all aspects of my life.

For parents, like me, struggling to teach this virtue to their children, I discovered this short article by Families with Purpose and the link to a book on the subject.

I have much to learn about turning my constant concern into consistent action. I think these resources are a good starting point.